A 28-year-old man has decided to stop paying money to his parents, ending financial support that has lasted just over three years. Having to pay them a part of his salary has made him “live on the edge”, as he explained in the forum Cheezburgerwhere users expose their problems to get feedback with other readers. As he explains, the situation has led him to change his future plans because “I have lived paycheck to paycheck to be able to continue helping them.”
This financial help from the son to the parents began when the parent lost his job and became unemployed. “At that moment I knew I was doing the right thing,” the young man writes. He started paying the bills (electricity, water and internet) but then began to take charge of grocery shopping. “In the end, I ended up sending them money every month. It wasn’t easy but I was convinced it would be temporary until they got back on their feet.”
But the days passed and things not only got worse but the situation became unsustainable. The father got a new job where he earned a lower salary than his other job and the mother decided to stay at home. “Despite stabilizing, they continued to depend on me. Every time I tried to lower the amount I sent them, unforeseen events arose such as a bill they were not expecting, a repair at home or things that could not wait.” And there he knew that “they were not adapting.”
“My parents spent money on unnecessary things.”
The young man began to blame them for spending more than they could afford “on unnecessary things.” The feeling he had was that, while he was paying that money to his parents, “I have been fighting for my future, I have put aside many of my dreams, such as being able to move to another better place, delaying my plans and I was living paycheck to paycheck to be able to help them.”
Until one day he told them that it was over, that he could no longer maintain that situation any longer although “he would continue to support them in case of emergency.” However, he stopped sending money regularly.
“They took it very badly, my mother told me that I was abandoning them and my father stayed silent, but he was disappointed.” At that moment, the two began to remind him of what they had worked and done for him during his childhood and youth, “that made me feel worse.”
“Now I feel guilty, trapped, like I’m being selfish but also frustrated because I think I’ve helped them more than I could have. I’ve had to learn to handle the situation realistically, I don’t want my relationship with them to end but I don’t want to continue living like this either.”
Users support him: “your mother needs a job”
The reactions of readers have not been long in coming and dozens have given him advice about his situation. “Your mother needs a job, and you have to live your life.” Others point out that their parents are manipulators: “you didn’t choose to be a child.”
“My opinion is that parents should support their children, they have no choice, if you are a good child, help them.”