Defences in England will be worried about the prospect of coming up against Erling Haaland this season, and so may a few post-match reporters.
The striker kicked off his Manchester City career in style on the opening weekend of the Premier League season, scoring two at West Ham.
He was superb on the pitch in east London and had fans in stitches off it as he sworn twice in his post-match interview.
And it’s not the first time Haaland has had us laughing after games…
Before joining Borussia Dortmund in January 2020, Haaland plied his trade at Red Bull Salzburg. It was his exploits for the Austrian side in the 2019/20 Champions League which made Europe’s elite really sit up and take notice of him.
After scoring a stunning first-half hat-trick against Belgian side Genk in September 2019, Haaland cut a somewhat restrained figure with his post-match chat revealing his very, very, very dry sense of humour.
Reporter: You made history scoring your first-half hat-trick, how are you feeling right now?
Haaland: I feel very good.
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Reporter: Anything else?
Haaland: You asked how I feel, I answered.
Reporter: What’s the secret? You’ve got 17 goals in nine games this season so far.
Haaland: To work hard.
Reporter: You go to Liverpool in two weeks’ time, your father [Alfe-Inge Haaland] scored at Anfield in 1997, are you hoping to follow suit?
Haaland: I hope so.
He’s a much more seasoned interviewee these days, so much so that he’s ready for the most unexpected question.
After netting a brace in Dortmund’s 3-0 win over Club Brugge in November 2020, Haaland was seemingly asked a very bizarre question about his private life.
The CBS journalist asked: “Are you going to sleep lonely tonight?”
Haaland replied: “Erm… yeah.”
The interviewer then said: “You’re not taking a girlfriend home right now, you didn’t score a hat-trick.”
The striker responded: “Didn’t score, no.”
It later became clear that the reason for the interviewer’s strange questioning is because Haaland revealed he sleeps alongside his hat-trick match balls – which he describes as his ‘girlfriends’ – in November 2019.
“I sleep with the five balls for each hat-trick I have scored,” he said. “I lie in bed and I feel good with them.
“I look at them every day. They are my girlfriends.”
The British media have already enjoyed their first taste of a Haaland interview…
The 22-year-old got his life in the Premier League off to a flying start over the weekend, netting a penalty and later slotting past West Ham’s substitute keeper Alphonse Areola in his side’s 2-0 opening game win.
But he could have had more.
When asked about the chance that could have landed him a hat-trick, Haaland said: “Yeah I could’ve. If you saw, I could’ve right before I went off, I should’ve been there, so.
“Bit s***, but that’s how it is.”
After a few seconds of silence, the Norway international was clearly unaware he’d just sworn and he was apologetic when his interviewer politely reminded him not to swear.
“Oh sorry, s***.” he said, before putting his hand to his mouth and apologising again.
“Oh sorry! Not good language in this country!” he laughed.
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